I was having a conversation the other day about whether listening should be a core competency for leaders. There were a lot of interesting perspectives, but all agreed that listening… truly being present, attentive and hearing what's being said… was paramount. But one important factor seemed missing from this conversation -- you need to be clear on intent.

I consider myself a good listener. But I've found myself many times actively listening while "building my rebuttal" for what's being said. Are you listening to truly hear, acknowledge and consider a perspective that may not be your own... or are you looking for the critical flaw? In my opinion, how you answer that question determines a good listener.

It's very hard to change your own perspective. This goes against our very nature as human beings, as our own nervous system is wired for finding that single right answer. Our schooling as children continued to reinforce this habit: getting the right answer for 5 + 7, the proper spelling of hippopotamus, or the correct date of the NormanConquest (1066 in case you‟re wondering).

This is where intent comes into play. When listening, we need to stop looking for the "right answer" in what we are hearing. The Zen Leader calls this a "flip" in consciousness, and it occurs when one is willing to let go of "being right."  To be a good listener, you need to make this flip. "With this flip, we transcend the dualism of this OR that," states Ginny Whitelaw, "...and play in the pull of multiple forces." (here is a further glimpse inside The Zen Leader, if you're interested).

When you listen with this intent: of hearing, acknowledging and a willingness to be changed by what's being said -- THAT is true listening.

"It was the first time in my own writing that I really felt I could get out of my own way.  And I hope that same sense of inspiration comes across to the readers." - Ginny Whitelaw, author of The Zen Leader.

I admit it… I've fallen head over heels for The Zen Leader.  Not a person, mind you, but a fantastic new book by Ginny Whitelaw that can change your life. I know this sounds like an overstatement, but it's not. The Zen Leader walks you, chapter by chapter, through 10 "flips" that will take you from barely managing to leading fearlessly. They're called flips because they invert ordinary ways of thinking to radically reframe one's sense of self and the world. From outside-in to inside-out. From "it's all about me" to "I'm all about it." These flips of consciousness can make you a better leader. They can make you a better person -- agile, creative and extremely powerful. I think The Zen Leader is a MUST READ, and so do a lot of other people. Some pretty impressive reviews are available here.

Still want to see for yourself? Take a peek through the first 27 pages of The Zen Leader.

It's rare when you find a book you want to keep going back to. For me, The Zen Leader fits that bill… thus my love affair. .. and I'm ready to share it with the world:-)